Picture by Horia Varlan
I don't know when to give up, obviously.
I set myself the challenge of responding to the Reverb10 prompts, all 31 of them. Some of them have been a challenge for me, for various reasons. I have had health challenges for some time, accordingly I haven't done as much or seen as much this year as I might have liked. I have seen very little of my friends, and not as much of my family as I would wish. I haven't travelled, beyond day trips and one long weekend. I haven't been able to work. On very many days I haven't left the house. It is hard to answer some of the prompts also because they are not the way I think: they seem a bit self absorbed, to be honest. This year I have been focussed on just getting through the days, slowly recovering and not letting my lack of health and energy depress me. In this context, some of the prompts seem irrelevant to me.
However, since I posted last time, opting out, Reverb10 has been nagging at me in the way an unfinished challenge does, so I am jumping back in with renewed determination to respond to every prompt, even if it's to explain why I can't.
So, a catch up on the prompts I have missed.
Day 18: Try
Kaileen Elise asked: What do you want to try next year? Is there something you wanted to try in 2010? What happened when you did/didn't go for it?
What do I want to try next year? Everything! A creative writing course. Photography. Crochet (I am not letting the damn thing beat me!) Making bread. Married life (though I am practising at the moment: just no certificate to prove it until April). Working from home, if I could just come up with something to do. Lots of things. Whatever takes my fancy.
Was there something I wanted to try in 2010? 2010 was the year I took out to try to recover, that was what I wanted to do. It was a slow year, I didn't do a lot. It worked: I seem to be slowly recovering, and I hope this continues into 2011.
Day 19: Healing
Leonie Allan asked: What healed you this year? Was it sudden, or a drip-by-drip evolution? How would you like to be healed in 2011?
Rest, rest, more rest. And long drives in the beautiful Essex and Kent countryside.
Day 20: Beyond Avoidance
Jake Nickell asked: What should you have done this year but didn't because you were too scared, worried, unsure, busy or otherwise deterred from doing? (Bonus: Will you do it?)
I probably should have done lots of things, but frankly I don't care for shoulds. I did what I did, and what I could do, and that is enough. Next year I hope I can do more.
Day 21: Future Self
Jenny Blake asked: Imagine yourself five years from now. What advice would you give your current self for the year ahead. (Bonus: Write a note to yourself ten years ago. What would you tell your younger self?)
I would tell my future self to stop worrying and enjoy each day for what it is.
To my ten-years-ago 32 year old self I would say take the Young Philosopher out of school now, don't wait until he is 11 before removing him from the school system to home educate him. It will all go wonderfully well and be one of the best things you ever did. I would also say there is someone out there for you, but you have to wait until 2008 to meet him. Not fair, but worth the wait.
Day 22: Travel
Tara Hunt asked: How did you travel in 2010? How and/or where would you like to travel next year?
With the exception of a long weekend in Hay-on-Wye in April, I haven't been away this year, but I have done lots of travelling locally. Almost every weekend the DP and I go driving around in Essex, Kent and other surrounding areas. I never tire of the beautiful English countryside. Next year I hope to do more of the same. We are planning to visit France for our honeymoon, so I am looking forward to seeing the French countryside too. I am also planning to visit central London much more often than I currently do. Isn't that always the way when something is on your doorstep?
So that's me caught up ;-)